What kind of Christmas Shopper are you?


For The Wrap Artist is all about the trimmings. No mass produced, cheap novelty paper for her, and she wouldn’t be caught dead defacing her gifts with a ribbon rosette. When it comes to wrapping she thinks outside the box, opting for sprigs of seasonal foliage tied with jaunty ribbons or rustic string  perfect for disguising a bog-standard present.
The It’s-the-thought-that-Countess, however, is a fan of hand-made gifts. She’s been baking up a storm since Easter. Every one of her edible snowflakes is completely unique. If only she could get to grips with dusting icing sugar. Bet Nigella never gets powder up her nose.
The Recycler has taken ‘giving something back’ to new levels – by reusing gifts. Once labelled a tight-arse, at last she’s part of the in-crowd in today’s environmentally-conscious, financially-challenged times. Re-gifting is the new vintage, don’t you know. Green is the new black. 

For The Panic Buyer, Christmas shopping starts on Christmas Eve when he narrowly avoids going to pieces by arm-sweeping generic gift-boxes into his trolley in a blur of adrenaline and nervous energy. Neighbour surprises him with a last-minute Poinsettia? No problem; the Panic Buyer reciprocates with a trio of sporty deodorants, complete with nasal trimmer. Just what every girl-next-door needs. 
The Generalissimo on the other hand, has been planning Christmas since the Boxing Day Sales when she launched a dawn raid on Oxford Street armed with a bullet-pointed shopping list and a handbag tucked under her arm like a gun. Careful reconnaissance meant she had a systematic plan of attack. Christmas morning is planned with similar military precision – she somehow manages to ration presents, bark carols and blitz wrapping paper all at the same time. 

Come Christmas Day, Mrs Claus is all shopped out. No wonder; she’s been queuing for this year’s must-have toys and trawling Ebay for that elusive sold-out limited edition since her kids delivered their Christmas lists to the shopping mall Santa on December the 1st. Let’s hope she’s recovered by Boxing Day, the kids have plans for the New Year sales. 

For Mrs Plastic Fantastic it’s all about the gift card. No more worrying about ruining the big day with a festive faux-pas for her. She’s never recovered from Christmas 95 when her boyfriend burst into tears after unwrapping a gift-box of XXS thongs. So what if vouchers are a little impersonal? At least one size fits all.

The Local Hero prefers to source unique finds from within a five-mile radius of his house. Christmas isn’t Christmas without a trip to the treasure trove of independent stores on his high street. And when it comes to the Christmas turkey, you can bet he’s on first name terms with the butcher, farmer and turkey family tree. Just don’t call his awarding-winning English fizz ‘Champagne.’

The Fantasy Shopper exists purely on paper, between the pages of glossy magazines who’s gift round-ups include high-end lust-objects no normal person can afford or dare use in real life. Diamond-studded headphones, anyone? Silk baby-grow? Or top of my fantasy wish list – a hand-wash only white cashmere jumper. 

So what sort of Christmas shopper are you?

I confess I’m none of the above  we’ve decided to down-size on gifts this year. It’s the last time we’ll get away with it before Bouncing Boy goes to school and get bitten by present peer-pressure. But look out Christmas 2014: something tells me Mrs Claus will be out in force…

4 thoughts

  1. Love this list! I am somewhere between the Generalissimo and the Fantasy Shopper. I love the idea of having it all done, but on my way to the store I get distracted.

    The wrapping doesn't matter to me, but it does to Hubs, so that means he puts a bow on the brown wrapping.

  2. Really made me laugh, though I didn't really fit anywhere! I make my kids start their lists in September, and usually start buying in October. I am an online kind of gal, and by December 1st all my gifts are here and ready 🙂

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