Bloggers; we don’t think like other peeps. Here’s an insight into bloggers logic, or ‘Blogic’ as I call it.
We write, therefore we are
If a mother talks to herself at home and nobody hears, did she really say anything?
Motherhood can be a lonely business. No work-place banter. No water-cooler moments. No office Christmas party. Just after my daughter was born, I found myself snowed-in with no company for days. Mr Tumble got a lot of back chat that week. I was one step away from joining a This Morning phone-in, just for the chat. No more! Blogging has given me a voice.
Denial you say? No, we’re just re-writing history
OK, so the camping trip was a disaster. Bouncing Boy burnt his mouth on a toasted marshmallow, got claustrophobic in the tent and had the mother-of-all tantrums in the portaloo, but the photos I posted afterwards were rose-tinted and it all sounded funny in retrospect. I’m feeling nostalgic about that portaloo already. I don’t know a blogger out there who, when weathering a disaster, doesn’t think ‘there’s a post in that.’
Blogging has the power to bend time
Yes, I’m busy. Yes, I only have one hour to myself in 24. But I’m never too busy to blog, even if that means typing into the night, carving out a post when I should be sleeping – hell, I won’t sleep if I don’t. Likewise, time spent on Twitter is not real time – which is it why it’s OK that life often goes on hold for 140 characters. We’re not just bloggers, we’re time travellers, goddamnit.
Writing like no one’s reading. Not.
If I’m dithering around, wondering whether to press ‘publish’ on a controversial post, I tell myself no one’s reading anyway. It’s just lil’ old me, muttering into the middle-distance, right? No risk of causing offence at all…
Conversely, if I’ve crafted my best post ever, I’m convinced the whole world is waiting with baited breath. I’m 100% sure this is the post that’ll make me go viral and propel me towards the book deal of my dreams.
Yes, we all blog for different reasons, but I’ll bet my bloggers-bottom we ALL wonder who’s reading when we hit publish. Which leads me onto my next bit of ‘blogic’.
Blog Stats – the only stats that really matter
Motherhood plays havoc with our vital statistics. It stole inches from my boobs and stuck them to my arse. It trashed my IQ and obliterated my bank balance, but who cares? Every mummy-blogger knows, the only stats that really matter are readership stats. A popular post can have us standing tall and feeling like a genius. It might even bring in a few quid. Yes, we tell ourselves stats don’t matter – like we tell ourselves a woman can not be measured by 36-24-36 and inches and ages and numbers, by all the things that don’t ever add up to who she is on the inside – but I don’t know a blogger out there who doesn’t love a spike in her google analytics.
Yes, blogic is all a bit werid, but it makes sense to me. #wouldn’thaveitanyotherway. Anyone who thinks otherwise can blog off.